Please Be My Hero...

This song is stuck in my head now! I can be your hero baby~~

Someone please ask me out for Valentine's....

Loneliness and Emptiness

Feeling lonely. Feeling empty.

Just realised that I have not many friends that I am close to. Not many that I can relate my problems to. But I'm glad that there is this someone who is always *cough* there for me. You might not be reading this but I just want to say "babe, I love you. Muakzz muakzz!"

Emptiness. *sigh* The moment after he unloaded and pulled out his d***, you are just another stranger to him. I don't know what I am crapping here.

Feeling shit,
V

Still A First?

No, not anymore!

I was over the moon a few days after coming back from the UK as I learnt that I have got a First for my exams. The feeling of being one of those few who made the cut and putting myself on par with some of the countries’ brightest was great. A week after that, the breakdown was out on the university system and I logged in to calculate my overall percentage. As I scrolled down the page, I saw an ‘F’. I yelled out an ‘F’ word too. I couldn’t believe what was happening. A First but with a failure in one core module. For real?!

I asked around and all of my friends did way better than they expected. One friend whom I tutored and supported got a 2:2 mark. That reaffirmed me that my mark for the module could have been mistakenly calculated or keyed in to the system. Without wasting much time, I emailed the secretary of the exam board for a recheck of my script. Yesterday night I received his reply and my heart sank. There wasn’t any error in my mark and he even provided me with my raw mark.

So I called dad to tell him the ‘bad’ news. It was too hard for me to tell him what had happened that I paused for a while when he picked up the phone. I am sure dad would not have expected this as the other day when I told him about the ‘error’, he backed me. I am feeling guilty for letting down my dad, for not living up to expectations. I hate myself for not studying harder and letting slip the chance of getting exempted from a professional paper.

Now, it’s time to pick up the pieces and mend my heart. I will have to re-study the materials again and resit for the professional paper which costs 200 plus pounds.

Thank God, I will still be allowed to continue on the course after being informed by my tutor.

I will have myself to be blamed for what’s going on. *sigh* A painful and expensive lesson.

V

Ranting 1

I am back here again! Pheww! Thought I abandoned my blog for ages but only to realise that it's just been a week. lol. It has not been a great week for me. Things went terribly wrong and I realised that last year about this time I broke down and even thought of discontinuing my studies due to the immense pressure from studies. *sigh* Is that a curse on me? :(

I am feeling it again now. Probably I am expecting too much from myself after doing extremely well for my tests back in the autumn term. 3 tests and I got two 95's and a hundred. *flipping hair* Clap hand la. I checked the results board and my results were in the top 5% for each test. Greater achievements lead to higher expectations. Oh well, human beings are never satiated.

And then I have loads of assignments due in coming weeks and the first one is on 11 pm this Sunday. Hey man, it is Chinese New Year you know!!! About half complete now but judging from the time that I am left with right now minus New Year Eve's dinner and Sunday's day out for celebration, my assignment might end up being incomplete. Each time I enter my room I can feel all the assignments cascading down onto me. Ugh!

Just moments ago, I received a whatsapp message from someone saying that our date this evening might be cancelled. He had toothache yesterday and is still on antibiotics. The pain got worse.

*notification ringtone from phone*

Ok, bad news. Date has been cancelled. Sien. Not to forget this morning I wasted £1.50 on bus ticket and after a while I got on the bus, I was stuck in the bus for quite some time as it banged into a car. =.= Bad luck, please stay away from me!!!

Fml!

V