There was no one in the house and he popped up at the door. Since we were both hungry due to the cold weather, we decided to cook something decent. It was so similar to our second meeting in my house. After dinner, we were seated at the dining table facing each other. He smiled to me and it was so charming that it's impossible for my heart not to melt for this guy before me. I smiled back to him and looked deep into his eyes. He is so perfect! Then suddenly ... ... my alarm rang and in a split second everything disappeared from my view. :-( F***!
I always believe that when you dream of someone that means your souls are together at that point of time and the someone is also experiencing what you do. But I doubted this belief that I have been holding on to since young. I saw myself as Matt and him as me. Confused and disheartened. Bumped into him last Thursday in front of the entrance to his department. I could no longer recognize him after not seeing him for more than a month. Slimmer and tanner than before. He greeted me and as usual his smile that has melted my heart. OMG! Talked to him for a minute or so as I was rushing to class.
Wanted to talk to you so badly. The tub of ice cream that you left behind is still in the freezer and you promised to make me a dinner. I am still waiting for the day to come.
I don't know if I should continue with this feeling. *sigh*
On a happier note, I had my first tutorial this morning and the tutor is so freaking hot. Huge difference from the photo I saw. Trendy, athletic build but not so well defined muscle, sexy back. Aww. He has got my attention on him for the whole hour instead of on the tutorial. =D
Love. x
V
Monday, 28 January 2013
Saturday, 26 January 2013
Sorry that I Broke Your Heart Part 2
The short lunch break ended with me watching videos on Youtube and helping Ricky to supervise the juniors. lol
Back to the previous post.
So after an hour, he sent me this.
Translation :
M: If I say that I am now on my way to your place, what will you do?
V: Impossible
I was startled and left him a missed call. He called back and told me that he has taken tube to London Euston and was about to head for my place. On the phone, he told me that he spent that 'one hour nap' to prepare food for me. Oh my God! I couldn't believe that this actually happened to me in real life. Thought this is the plot in romantic films. =p I was so touched that my eyes became teary and tears began to roll down my cheeks. He then asked whether it's fine for him to come around. I was too emotional to decide for him at that instant so I just said 'It is up to you'.
As expected, he was here. With this!
After eating, we went into my room and talked until 11-ish before both of the guys squeezed in that one single bed to sleep. Hmm, he hugged me to sleep. *cough*
The next day, he started mentioning the relationship topic again. I could see through his eyes that he really likes this person before him. Laying myself in his arm, I told him that I don't have any feelings towards him and I just want to enjoy his company as a friend. I must have hurt him with my frank words that I took quite a while to console him and stop him from crying.
Did I play with his feelings? I have been wondering about this. Please leave me some comments. Cheers.
Reflection:
Reasons for the reject:
1. Started with the intention of being friends and didn't expect that he would fall for me in that short period of time.
2. Camp in some ways. I need a real MAN.
3. Quite a spendthrift guy even though his family had financial problems when he came to UK. By the way, he is a China Chinese.
4. Easily satiated. He has been working in a restaurant since graduation last June and the job is just enough to cover his living expenses. His Masters can easily give him a decent job!
Love. x
V
Back to the previous post.
So after an hour, he sent me this.
Translation :
M: If I say that I am now on my way to your place, what will you do?
V: Impossible
I was startled and left him a missed call. He called back and told me that he has taken tube to London Euston and was about to head for my place. On the phone, he told me that he spent that 'one hour nap' to prepare food for me. Oh my God! I couldn't believe that this actually happened to me in real life. Thought this is the plot in romantic films. =p I was so touched that my eyes became teary and tears began to roll down my cheeks. He then asked whether it's fine for him to come around. I was too emotional to decide for him at that instant so I just said 'It is up to you'.
As expected, he was here. With this!
 |
| He cooked this for me in an hour. |
The next day, he started mentioning the relationship topic again. I could see through his eyes that he really likes this person before him. Laying myself in his arm, I told him that I don't have any feelings towards him and I just want to enjoy his company as a friend. I must have hurt him with my frank words that I took quite a while to console him and stop him from crying.
Did I play with his feelings? I have been wondering about this. Please leave me some comments. Cheers.
Reflection:
Reasons for the reject:
1. Started with the intention of being friends and didn't expect that he would fall for me in that short period of time.
2. Camp in some ways. I need a real MAN.
3. Quite a spendthrift guy even though his family had financial problems when he came to UK. By the way, he is a China Chinese.
4. Easily satiated. He has been working in a restaurant since graduation last June and the job is just enough to cover his living expenses. His Masters can easily give him a decent job!
Love. x
V
Friday, 25 January 2013
Sorry that I Broke Your Heart Part 1
I have been chatting to this guy whom I shall name him as Matt on Jack'd and Whatsapp. Was browsing through profile in London area and he caught my attention for 2 reasons. First, his high reply rate plus his outer appearance is within my acceptance level. Second, his description about himself. He wrote a damn long description which has an English version and Mandarin one.
So, I started by sending him a text. Took him 2 days to reply to that one short greeting. =.= It was snowing quite heavily then so I told him about that. And his reply was 'Be careful when you walk then'! Oh my goodness! Got a feeling that this guy must be a very caring person which he later proved that he is indeed one. I am going to skip all the minor minor details and go to the major one. (:
I swear to God that my initial intention was to make friends with him, nothing more than friendship. But it was the otherwise for him. After talking for long hours on the phone during night time for a few days, he started asking me questions like "Do you want to be at my side right now since you are cold and your heater is not on?" with me?" and such. He also said that he likes me because I am cute and innocent which I beg to differ! Each time he mentioned something like that I would just brush off with 'No' and switched to another topic. Sorry I am mean when someone shows that he likes me but I don't. =P
*fast forward to last Friday afternoon*
After I got back from my only lecture of the day, it began to snow heavily non-stop until the university had to invoke a severe weather policy and most lectures were cancelled. Traffic came to a standstill and many were trapped on campus. Was a bit chaotic in the area. When I woke up from nap, I was hungry and feverish. F*** my life! Just recovered from fever on Wednesday and I was ill again! Ran out of food supply and snow was 5-6 inches thick then so I decided to starve. Coincidentally, he whatsapp-ed me and asked if I have eaten. Told him everything. "V, go get something to eat." Then he said he was tired from work and wanted to have a nap.
Lunch break for me now. To be continued later. x
V
Lunch break for me now. To be continued later. x
V
Friday, 18 January 2013
Wintry January
I love Friday because I only have an early class and that is it for the day. :-P
It is my second winter here in the UK. This year is more like a proper winter as compared to last year when it snowed heavily for one night and snow never come back after until recently. Last week, the temperature plummeted from 10-ish to subzero then it began snowing and a day after that the snow melted. Ah well, the whitish snow turned greyish because of the dust and some turned brownish as some constructions were going on in the campus. It was really an eyesore! Also, when the snow melted, it impeded my walking speed and I even needed to find a balance walking on the half-icy-half-watery pavement. Ehh, I need FRICTION in this case!
Yesterday it began snowing again and it is still and will continue snowing until next week. Hooray! Very nice to see the whole land covered in white. Snowball fight? Hell yes! (I went sick for two weeks last year after snowball fighting with my mates) The temptation is too hard to resist so probably I will just play for a while later tonight! =) Ooops, suddenly emo-ing. :(
Here are some photos that I took. Enjoy. :)
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| Bright sun on a snowy day. |
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| Snowy and sunny or sunny and snowy? #confused |
 |
| On my way to uni last week. |
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| Half-icy-half-watery pavement. :( |
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| Snow on the wooden gate. Never know my phone has such sharp focus. |
 |
| This morning at 8-ish. |
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| Before I started blogging. |
How I wish that I am together with someone sipping hot tea in front of the fireplace. Then he cuddle and give warmth to me. We get ourselves under the duvet and I sleep my head on his chest hearing his heartbeats until I fall asleep. Someone, where are you? :(
How would you want to spend your time on a snowy day? Please leave some comments. Cheers.
Take care. x
V
Friday, 11 January 2013
People Revolving Around My Life
Hello guys!
It is a misty morning here in UK. P.s: The British talks about weather often.
As I promised in earlier post, I am coming up with an introduction of people surrounding me. (:
1. R (25-30, mixed, GAY (I think so))
- Tops the list at the moment
- Studying PhD in the same university as me
- Knows him through Grindr and we have been chatting since 11/11/12
- Stays around 0.15 miles away from me and that was the main reason I started chatting to him
- Been to each other's room and nothing happens
- Awesomely friendly guy
- Fits my criteria of an ideal partner whom I want to spend my life together with
2. Rich (25-30, BBC, GAY)
- Took the same course as me ages ago and is in his final year of PhD studies
- Knows him through Bender (I am keeping the apps just for him as that is our main mean of communication)
- Met each other a few times in the department but only had a proper greeting when I went up to him for assistance in my studies
- More of a tutor-tutee relationship even though we do tease each other sometimes
- A nice guy who wished me during my birthday and a day before exam.
3. Adam (20-25, Spanish, GAY)
- Started to say 'Hi' to me on Bender and we chatted for quite some time before we exchanged number and chatted on Whatsapp.
- Easiest to come up with a nickname as that is the nickname that I call him. He gave me one as well. (:
- Never seen him in real before but he is freakingly damn hot (I have always had a liking for Spanish. Teehee =D)
- Working in one of those famous accounting firm in Spain and thinking of switching to a smaller firm due to heavy workloads
- Treat me like his own brother. Sent me a picture of him holding a birthday cake (he baked it!) on my birthday. He said it was taken during his friend's birthday. Anyway, sweet also la. Hehe.
4. Kingston (20-25, Asian, BI but more towards GAY)
- Met him once through Jack'd
- Engineering student in London
- Purposedly stopped (it was unplanned) by here at the end of his two-week vacation around UK. Touched but no tears. (Probably he is reading my blog XD)
- Just recently got into a relationship. His partner is quite sweet I feel. Story time with him tonight, as he promised.
- NO chance of being together! We both know it is impossible.
5. Lee (20-25, Asian, Straight)
- A girl whom I know through classmate back in college
- Law student in Australia
- First person whom I came out to
- A sweet girl who fell for me during college time (she confessed when I came out to her) but too bad I am gay. She rejected a guy who chased after her crazily because of me.
- Knows pretty much of me and I always keep her updated about my stuffs here in UK.
- Sent me a birthday card from the antipodes which I cried after reading the message in it. It is my FIRST ever birthday card! <3
6. Ron, Ricky, Vivian (20-25, Asian, Straight)
- My housemates currently until June 30 (I supposed)
- Great buddies especially the double R. Came out to Ron and he does not seem to be very supportive with some decisions which I asked his ideas before making one.
- Ron just had a one-month anniversary with his girl. Ricky's was a sad case which lasted only 2 days and Vivian is liking a German boy.
- Two of them are in the same department and another same as mine.
P.s: These are not their real names as to protect their identity. =D
Do you realise that I actually use the six colours of LGBT flags? Hehe. Please look back!
Time for lunch! My stomach alarm clock is ringing!!
Till next time. x
V
It is a misty morning here in UK. P.s: The British talks about weather often.
As I promised in earlier post, I am coming up with an introduction of people surrounding me. (:
1. R (25-30, mixed, GAY (I think so))
- Tops the list at the moment
- Studying PhD in the same university as me
- Knows him through Grindr and we have been chatting since 11/11/12
- Stays around 0.15 miles away from me and that was the main reason I started chatting to him
- Been to each other's room and nothing happens
- Awesomely friendly guy
- Fits my criteria of an ideal partner whom I want to spend my life together with
2. Rich (25-30, BBC, GAY)
- Took the same course as me ages ago and is in his final year of PhD studies
- Knows him through Bender (I am keeping the apps just for him as that is our main mean of communication)
- Met each other a few times in the department but only had a proper greeting when I went up to him for assistance in my studies
- More of a tutor-tutee relationship even though we do tease each other sometimes
- A nice guy who wished me during my birthday and a day before exam.
3. Adam (20-25, Spanish, GAY)
- Started to say 'Hi' to me on Bender and we chatted for quite some time before we exchanged number and chatted on Whatsapp.
- Easiest to come up with a nickname as that is the nickname that I call him. He gave me one as well. (:
- Never seen him in real before but he is freakingly damn hot (I have always had a liking for Spanish. Teehee =D)
- Working in one of those famous accounting firm in Spain and thinking of switching to a smaller firm due to heavy workloads
- Treat me like his own brother. Sent me a picture of him holding a birthday cake (he baked it!) on my birthday. He said it was taken during his friend's birthday. Anyway, sweet also la. Hehe.
4. Kingston (20-25, Asian, BI but more towards GAY)
- Met him once through Jack'd
- Engineering student in London
- Purposedly stopped (it was unplanned) by here at the end of his two-week vacation around UK. Touched but no tears. (Probably he is reading my blog XD)
- Just recently got into a relationship. His partner is quite sweet I feel. Story time with him tonight, as he promised.
- NO chance of being together! We both know it is impossible.
5. Lee (20-25, Asian, Straight)
- A girl whom I know through classmate back in college
- Law student in Australia
- First person whom I came out to
- A sweet girl who fell for me during college time (she confessed when I came out to her) but too bad I am gay. She rejected a guy who chased after her crazily because of me.
- Knows pretty much of me and I always keep her updated about my stuffs here in UK.
- Sent me a birthday card from the antipodes which I cried after reading the message in it. It is my FIRST ever birthday card! <3
 |
| Birthday card from her! We are BFF! (: |
6. Ron, Ricky, Vivian (20-25, Asian, Straight)
- My housemates currently until June 30 (I supposed)
- Great buddies especially the double R. Came out to Ron and he does not seem to be very supportive with some decisions which I asked his ideas before making one.
- Ron just had a one-month anniversary with his girl. Ricky's was a sad case which lasted only 2 days and Vivian is liking a German boy.
- Two of them are in the same department and another same as mine.
P.s: These are not their real names as to protect their identity. =D
Do you realise that I actually use the six colours of LGBT flags? Hehe. Please look back!
Time for lunch! My stomach alarm clock is ringing!!
Till next time. x
V
Wednesday, 9 January 2013
2013 New Year Resolutions
It is Wednesday afternoon and I just got up from my 1.5-hour nap. *stretches body* *opens up curtain*
I see my two other friends in the back lane of the house like right now. Seriously?! *minimises windows*
Will be right back.
Back to my blog post. :)
Yeah, I have gone back to school and been pretty busy lately. Just finished my exam yesterday. Phew! It is one of those important papers that I will have to get at least a 2.1 grade in order for me to get an exemption of a professional paper. Ugh! I revised the same set of lecture notes and online notes for 5 times in total over the Christmas break and kept myself studying in the silent zone of the library for a few consecutive days (something which I have never done before!) and AND resisted the use of Grindr and Jack'd (this is the main point)! Please pass me, okay! Thanks to Rich (not his real name, of course) for helping me throughout.
Remark: A list of names will be published soon *hopefully in the next post* as to who the people that I refer to are.
So, here is a list of my new year resolutions:
1. Get a First Class
2. Get into a relationship
3. Care about family
4. Leave my footprints in London
5. Keep my body weight below 65kg and tone it
6. Learn about the British culture
7. Know more friends
8. Be more courageous
9. Collect more passport stamps
10. Spend Christmas break out of my room
First one is the most important of all. Staying on track for another First Class is a no easy job but I will try my best to repeat the feat again this year. A 70 plus is good enough but it will be better if I can break into the 80 mark barrier. A £1000 is waiting for me if I can repeat another miracle.
A boyfriend, hopefully for this year! I have that one person in mind right now. Not sure if he feels what I am feeling towards him. Hope he does. I have been telling myself not to mess up again this time as he is superbly down-to-earth and I might end up staying together with him this September onward. I don't want any awkward moments with him.
2012 was kind of a bad year to dad. First he fell down at home and no one was in that time. I only got to know it through my cousin after a week or so. Parents have been telling me to keep them updated of my stuffs over here but they broke the rules. Sien dao. Then when I got back home this summer, he kepoh went to help his workers and ended up having his hand inside a machine. I always tell him to stay inside his office but ..... *sigh* stubborn dad!
I bet this is the more hilarious thing! I have not been on a proper trip to London yet even though I am now here for my second year. Really have to get my ass off to London!
*weigh myself* 66! Oh my goodness! I swear it was 65kg a few days back. :-( Need to cut down on chocolate and ice-cream (Ben and Jerry is half price now wor!) Was at 68kg in mid-August and managed to reduced it to 62kg before I flew back and now 66! *sob*
Number 6 is because of *cough* someone. Not going to elaborate on that. Teehee. =D
More friends! Oh yes please! I have never thought of being able to get to know so many (at least not one) friends through those dating apps and one of them is HIM!
Be more vocal and defend myself for what I think I am right. Guess I was quite brave enough to come out to two people last year. More to come?
9 and 10 are almost similar. Might be going to Italy during the Easter break and have in mind Portugal straight after summer exam. Time for some eye candies. lol. I have been spending two consecutive Christmas break staying in my room revising for exam. Not again this year!!!
That is all for now. See you. x
V
.
I see my two other friends in the back lane of the house like right now. Seriously?! *minimises windows*
Will be right back.
Back to my blog post. :)
Yeah, I have gone back to school and been pretty busy lately. Just finished my exam yesterday. Phew! It is one of those important papers that I will have to get at least a 2.1 grade in order for me to get an exemption of a professional paper. Ugh! I revised the same set of lecture notes and online notes for 5 times in total over the Christmas break and kept myself studying in the silent zone of the library for a few consecutive days (something which I have never done before!) and AND resisted the use of Grindr and Jack'd (this is the main point)! Please pass me, okay! Thanks to Rich (not his real name, of course) for helping me throughout.
Remark: A list of names will be published soon *hopefully in the next post* as to who the people that I refer to are.
So, here is a list of my new year resolutions:
1. Get a First Class
2. Get into a relationship
3. Care about family
4. Leave my footprints in London
5. Keep my body weight below 65kg and tone it
6. Learn about the British culture
7. Know more friends
8. Be more courageous
9. Collect more passport stamps
10. Spend Christmas break out of my room
First one is the most important of all. Staying on track for another First Class is a no easy job but I will try my best to repeat the feat again this year. A 70 plus is good enough but it will be better if I can break into the 80 mark barrier. A £1000 is waiting for me if I can repeat another miracle.
A boyfriend, hopefully for this year! I have that one person in mind right now. Not sure if he feels what I am feeling towards him. Hope he does. I have been telling myself not to mess up again this time as he is superbly down-to-earth and I might end up staying together with him this September onward. I don't want any awkward moments with him.
2012 was kind of a bad year to dad. First he fell down at home and no one was in that time. I only got to know it through my cousin after a week or so. Parents have been telling me to keep them updated of my stuffs over here but they broke the rules. Sien dao. Then when I got back home this summer, he kepoh went to help his workers and ended up having his hand inside a machine. I always tell him to stay inside his office but ..... *sigh* stubborn dad!
I bet this is the more hilarious thing! I have not been on a proper trip to London yet even though I am now here for my second year. Really have to get my ass off to London!
*weigh myself* 66! Oh my goodness! I swear it was 65kg a few days back. :-( Need to cut down on chocolate and ice-cream (Ben and Jerry is half price now wor!) Was at 68kg in mid-August and managed to reduced it to 62kg before I flew back and now 66! *sob*
Number 6 is because of *cough* someone. Not going to elaborate on that. Teehee. =D
More friends! Oh yes please! I have never thought of being able to get to know so many (at least not one) friends through those dating apps and one of them is HIM!
Be more vocal and defend myself for what I think I am right. Guess I was quite brave enough to come out to two people last year. More to come?
9 and 10 are almost similar. Might be going to Italy during the Easter break and have in mind Portugal straight after summer exam. Time for some eye candies. lol. I have been spending two consecutive Christmas break staying in my room revising for exam. Not again this year!!!
That is all for now. See you. x
V
.
Tuesday, 1 January 2013
Here Starts My Journey..
Hello everyone!
First of all, happy new year to those who are reading my post.
Here is my first confession.
I am GAY and very proud of being one. =)
Still very much in the closet at the moment but I have come out to 2 of my besties so far. They have been very supportive of me which I am very glad of!
Hmm, I am not sure how often I am going to update my blog and how far I can go on here but I will try my best to keep my blog updated. I have lots of work and assignments to do every week during term time. At least 2 assignments per week without fail, not including seminar and tutorial work! Sien. So freaking stressed! Even right now, I am putting aside my revision which I am way far behind the revision schedule to write this. Well, coming to think of that, I guess it is rather normal in university and also given that I am taking a very demanding course which I aim to graduate with a First (typical 'kiasu' Asian)! lol
First of all, happy new year to those who are reading my post.
Hmm, finally decided to get myself writing.
Signed up for a blogger account December last year (sounds as though it was ages ago lol) and ended up not writing a single post. >.< But hey here is one and the first one for a brand new year!
Signed up for a blogger account December last year (sounds as though it was ages ago lol) and ended up not writing a single post. >.< But hey here is one and the first one for a brand new year!
Here is my first confession.
I am GAY and very proud of being one. =)
Still very much in the closet at the moment but I have come out to 2 of my besties so far. They have been very supportive of me which I am very glad of!
Hmm, I am not sure how often I am going to update my blog and how far I can go on here but I will try my best to keep my blog updated. I have lots of work and assignments to do every week during term time. At least 2 assignments per week without fail, not including seminar and tutorial work! Sien. So freaking stressed! Even right now, I am putting aside my revision which I am way far behind the revision schedule to write this. Well, coming to think of that, I guess it is rather normal in university and also given that I am taking a very demanding course which I aim to graduate with a First (typical 'kiasu' Asian)! lol
 |
| Temperature outside at this instant. |
Sunny noon for 1/1/2013. Good start, UK weather! I shall put an end to this post and jump back to my bed for my revision. See you and take care. x
V
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